


i will believe in the sea again (i want to go under)

by WhitePuppyNoRegrets



Series: and now all the demons are here. [1]
Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Brief attempts at plot, But shes got no fucks left to give so whatever, Changing cannon to favor my story, Connor Deserves Happiness, F/M, Has names and description but can be read as self insert, Lots of backstory, Many POVs, OC is Hanks Nephew, OC is human, OC is seriously fucked up, Set in cannon, Slow Burn, Unsuccessful attempts at philosophy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-22
Updated: 2019-01-28
Packaged: 2019-09-25 00:19:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,020
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17110859
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhitePuppyNoRegrets/pseuds/WhitePuppyNoRegrets
Summary: After trying too hard and failing regardless, Max Anderson now must deal with all the mistakes she did in the past. As it all starts going down, she's all too ready to let go. But then she meets an android, and well, maybe shes is little more committed to being alive than before. Title by Ingeborg Bachmann, tr. by Peter Filkins, from “Bohemia Lies by the Sea,”.





	1. this girl is trouble

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After doing some not really smart things at Cyberlife, Max Anderson gets tied to the deviant's case.

**CONNOR POV**

His relationship with Lieutenant Anderson was going less than ideal, he obviously had some bad experiences with androids that affected his judgment. He just needed some time to adjust, he hoped.

“I was informed that we are going to work with another person, some kind of expert in androids that worked in Cyberlife.”

Hank chuckles as if it were an absurdity “Sure.”

Another person would most likely make the social interactions easier, especially one that had experience with androids, so he decides to inquire more “The surname is also Anderson, is them your child or some family member?”

“None of your business.” Hank seems to get upset quite easily, it was difficult to discern if it was aleatory or there was anything that triggered it, perhaps the mention of a child?

Hank looks at his phone as it starts buzzing “Talking about...”He murmurs. “Would you mind putting it on speaker.”

He looks at the name before answering. Max Anderson, he runs a quick search while listening. Max Anderson. Born 02/01/2018. Criminal record: Hacking, Cyber Terrorism, Disorderly conduct, Police officer assault, Resisting arrest…

SOFTWARE INSTABILITY

-and an aesthetically pleasing face.

_ “Hello? Hank?” _

Hank frowns “Where are you?”

_ “Oh hi, Hank! I won't be able to come today but good luck!” _

“You know this is part of your arrangement and I'm not covering for you. Why aren't you coming?”

_ “...Are you alone in the car? Uh, whatever. I'm on the other side of the city and I have some errands to do so I will try but I don't think I'm gonna make it.” _

“Working again for people you shouldn't be?”

_ “I need the money, Hank.” _

Hank shakes his head “Yeah but I'm sure you win a lot of money and you are still homeless.”

_ “It's for a good cause Hank, believe me, please. Can we talk about this later?” _

“We sure will sweetheart, but please take care for now.”

_ “Same, love you! Bye!” _

Hank smiled at that last sentence, he notes. So Max Anderson was surely a family member, most likely his daughter. The question here was why they were officially working with someone with so many criminal records. Some of them very serious, maybe this had something to do with the “arrangement” he had overheard. She committed some crime relating to their case and they would reduce or absolve her sentence in exchange for her cooperation. He still doesn't have enough information to make a complete opinion of her, but she seemed like trouble. He would have to wait until meeting her.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**MAX POV**

She waits at Hanks desk, trying to catch some rest after yesterday's late night, hacking some things for some thieves of little relevance, collecting the money, buying the Thirium, going to Jericho, etc... Until she hears some fuss back at the coffee area and has to resume her little snooze.

As soon as she gets closer all what she can see was Gavin (the asshole coworker of Hank which she swore was 3 seconds away from murdering) punching an android on the stomach. Naturally, she could not like, not get involved.

She runs and pushes Gavin away “You son of a bitch!”

Gavin smiles condescendingly at her “Calm down, sweety! Wanna get written up for disorderly conduct!?” he mocks before retiring.

She would break his fucking face, but first, she had to make sure the android was alright. So she kneels by his side and reaches under his jacket to feel the beat of his thirium pump. It was a little irregular but it evened out after a moment. 

Strong hits in the right place could make the pump stutter for a second. That would feel as horrible as if your heart stopped but luckily androids recovered way faster.

Her blood boils when she remembers how humans were such assholes to androids all the time. She sometimes wishes that they had never existed, so they would be spared of all that suffering and humiliation. But then she remembers that she actually did a good part in creating them, so she tries to stop thinking about it.

She looks at him, curious brown eyes glancing back at her, analyzing. She gets up and offers a hand to him, which he takes a little confused, probably not very acquainted at people being kind to him. 

“Are you okay? Want me to beat his ass?” She means it, after all that shit she had gotten in. Fuck it. Police officer assault would be the smallest of her problems.

“All my components are fine. So, please don't. You will be needed for the investigation and you would be more useful outside a cell. ”.He rearranges his jacket and tie.

She takes a better look at him and - _first of all,_ _god he's gorgeous, androids are usually gorgeous but this one_ \- notes his model number - _Max please don't make this awkward, no flirting with androids, especially if you are gonna be working with them-._

“Connor! You are Connor the detective.” she blurts out.

He offers a small smile “The android sent by Cyberlife.”

_ -More like the android sent by heaven.-  _ Before she could say anything else dumb she hears Hank slapping the door of Captain Fowlers office and being his grumpy self as usual.

- _ That's my cue. _ -

She jumps on to sit on Hanks desk and nearly shouts on a chirpy voice “Hey! Hank! Your favorite nephew is here!.”

Hank smiles but shakes his head “Well, maybe cuz you are my only nephew.”

Then he looks behind her and his smile fades.

She turns to look at Connor and then back at Hank “So i take it you two have meet before?”

Hank glares at Connor and goes back to browsing “Yeah, unfortunately.”

She always tries to brighten up Hanks day whenever she can, even if she isn't having a good one herself. He had always been there for her, when her parents died, when things got bad at Cyberlife, even after the shitshow she had started with Cyberlife… She had to be there for him.

But things inevitably got rather tense whenever their opinions on androids conflicted.

She sighs “Anyways, let me catch up on the case or whatever shit you have going on.”

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here is the first chapter, please have in mind I have no beta reader, this isn't my first language and I had not written anything in a while. I don't have a schedule right now but I will try to update every 1-2 weeks or so. This will mainly follow (kinda) Connors plot in the Pacifist-best ending but I will change some things. So thank u so much for reading and comment or leave kudos if you would like :D


	2. what do you think of rain?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While looking for another deviant, Max would like to help Connor get a more educated opinion on rain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is absolutely nothing other than fluff, enjoy.

**CONNOR POV**

 

She sits on the hood of the car, with her eyes closed and hair soaking up.

 

“Why are you getting wet? You could be inside.”, he asks.

 

She smiles and lays completely on the car, “What do you think of rain, Connor?”

 

“Rain is a natural phenomenon, consisting of water falling in drops condensed from vapor in the atmosphere.”, he answers easily, curious about what's the point of the question.

 

She shakes her head, “No, I mean how do you feel about rain?”

 

He isn't a deviant and androids don't feel emotions “Androids don't-”

 

She stops him, rather annoyed at first “Just answer the goddamn question

.”

She's got a short temper and an extensive vocabulary just as Hank, he notes.

 

He's unsure how to answer the question, and he considers not answering it at all. But he still wants to know why would she ask that, especially to an android. He doesn't know a lot about her, and he suspects she's got more to do with all of this than she seems. So he just as well might try, he compares the advantages and disadvantages of rain to form an opinion.

“Rain has a lot of positive effects in the environment, therefore on our society. But the amount of rain that Detroit receives is not necessary and complicates daily activities.”

 

She opens her eyes and goes back to sitting “You weighed the pros and cons didn't you?... You see, what humans do is a very similar thing. Our likes and dislikes are defined by respondent conditioning, or in other words our experiences.” she looks depth in thought, eyes wandering everywhere “For example people that don't like dogs because one bit them when they were young.”

She ponders for a second and giggles “I like rain, especially like this, when it's sunny and kind of warm. Cole and I used to have lots of fun playing with the mud. Even though Hank would hate us for getting dirty later.”

 

He considers asking who is Cole, but he senses how her words are tainted with something else other than happiness, so he decides against it.

 

She grins differently than before, he correlates that gesture with trouble, for some reason. “You wanna play a game?”

 

He's waiting for Hank to come back from talking to the other officers so, he could, but androids don't have fun. Do they? Do androids play games? Androids don't play games. He shouldn't.

 

Her grin spreads to a small smile, and she looks at him in the eye “Please.”

 

SOFTWARE INSTABILITY

 

He wants to play that game. Whatever game it is. If she smiles like that it sure is a fun game.

 

...

 

He's going to play the game because it's beneficial to the investigation to have a good relationship with the people he works with. Nothing wrong with it.

“Yes”, he nods.

 

Her smile spreads even more, and she jumps and then giggles.

 

For a second he doesn't really understand what's funny, but then he looks down at the giant puddle they are standing in and the splash of water in his shoes and pants and then it makes sense.

* * *

 

**MAX POV**

 

For a second she's concerned that he just thinks she's humiliating him or something, but then he grins. A small grin, almost imperceptible.

 

She yelps when he jumps and feels the splash of water on her feet.

 

She looks at him and now he is smiling and even soaked up from head to toe she starts feeling oddly warm at the sight of his crinkled eyes and white teeth.

 

She jumps again, and he jumps aside sending another splash of his own.

...

Suddenly everything is feet splashing in puddles, at some point she manages to get a giggle out of him and, oh she loves that sound.

She tries hard to get more of that. But then all of a sudden Connor stops laughing and straightens himself.

 

She's about to ask what's wrong when notes Connor looking sheepishly behind her.

 

There is Hank, he's frowning. But not the usual grumpy frown, it's more like a sad frown. She reminded him of Cole. Shit.

 

Connor takes a step forward, “It took the first bus that came along...and stayed at the end of the line. Its decision wasn't planned, it was driven by fear.”   
Hank shakes his head, “Androids don't feel fear.”

 

Yeah, people love telling themselves that, that way they don't have to deal with the nasty implications of slaving people.  
“Deviants do. They get overwhelmed by their emotions and make irrational decisions.”

Also not completely true, all androids feel pain, fear, etc. after being introduced to the concept. As long an android has a mission, be it cleaning the house or whatever other trivial shit, they have auto preservation, fear of death and will feel pain. So yeah as long an android has a reason to live they will feel fear and will feel pain. Exactly what happens with humans.

  
“Ah well, that still doesn't tell us where it went.”

 

If Hank could be a little less condescending it would make it a lot easier not to start a debate on why the way that you treat android reflects how you treat people. But that's also pointless, Hank is just mean to everyone.

 

“It didn't have a plan, and it had nowhere to go. Maybe it didn't go far…”

  
“Maybe...”

Well if you were looking right now you could maybe find them, but hey, the more safe deviants there are, it's better for her, so she ain't complaining.

* * *

 

**CONNOR POV**

 

After the unsuccessful investigation, they all get back on the car.

 

“So… do you like rain?” Max leans over the seat and whispers unnecessary close to his ear, and the heat of her breath against his synthetic skin is rather… pleasant.

 

Considering his new recent experience with rain and puddles, transportation and infrastructure problems aren't so relevant.

 

“I do.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So figured you may want to know what are my inspirations for the chapters so...  
> https://www.ted.com/talks/kate_darling_why_we_have_an_emotional_connection_to_robots  
> https://www.tecks.co.nz/home/Theconditionsuponwhichlearningdepends/Respondentprocesses/Howlikesanddislikesdevelop  
> And also to any other writers of the famdom or whatever, this thing is saving my life. Kudos and my respects to the creator: https://detroitbecometext.github.io


	3. secrets for yesterday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Max tries to continue with her mission, but Connor soon discovers they might be at opposite sides of the coin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lol I know that I haven't updated in a while but I promise I have been working on it, I just decided to write some parts of a future chapter cuz I was particularly inspired. Plus my ao3 kept crashing.

Her phone buzzes in her pocket, her skirt and leggings still hold some dampness due to their earlier morning in the rain. They are once again on the car going to search for another deviant. But absolutely not until Hank gets his lunch, of course.

She unlocks her phone. 

 

_ Simon _

_ I don't think Sasha and Tony are doing it further that tonight… Are you coming to say goodbye? _

_ R: _

_ I will as soon I get off this thing. Tell em to hang in there. _

 

_ FBI Agent Perkings _

_ Remember we are on your trail. I wouldn't be so flexible on the agreement terms if I were you. _

 

She doesn't come one day and he's already threatening her. Oh, well what could she expect.

 

She looks up and she catches Connor spying through the rear mirror. They lock eyes and he looks away immediately.

 

“It is quite impolite to spy on people's conversations Connor, I would have thought your social interaction database would be better.” She says on a passive-aggressive tone.

 

He looks rather sheepish for a moment. But then he goes back to the normal neutral face all androids have.

 

“Who are Sasha and Tony? They certainly look like they are in trouble.” He turns back from the front seat to ask her while holding a menacing gaze.

 

She glares back at him “Oh I see you getting all bad cop on me Connor, I thought I was your partner rather than a suspect. Well if you really wanna know they are my friend's cats, they got heartworm and my friend can't pay for the treatment. You know people tell that kind of things to their friends, but you won't be getting any of those if people don't trust you.”

 

He looks taken back by that and she starts to feel a little wrong for saying that with so much poison, he's just following what his orders are. She is just about to open her mouth to apologize.

“Then why do you have an FBI agent sending you warnings”

 

_ He's my boyfriend, he is into roleplay, you know really kinky shit, you want in?  _ She considers lying for a second, but then again maybe he would just look for his name and all the facade would come down. Well, how can he know anything the FBI doesn't know already?

 

It's alright, she has had this conversation a hundred times before with Hank, nothing to worry about “Well you've got the whole internet and Cyberlife database in your head. Why don't you look for it yourself?”

 

His eyelids flicker for a couple seconds and then he gazes at her intently “Max Anderson, orphan at 14, has a IQ of 168 points and skipped two grades, admitted onto top engineering colleges but skipped that too after meeting Elijah Kamski at a famous tech convention, who after seeing her potential offered her a place in Cyberlife, she quickly climbed up in the company and became Kamski's second hand, sometime later she was in a car crash that left her with very severe injuries. At 18 years old she wins 130,000 a year, owns a penthouse in the most luxurious building of the city, and the rumors say she has a complete floor of the Cyberlife tower only for her research. Soon after Kamski retires from the company, this year she is found to be sabotaging the androids code, Cyberlife says it is not dangerous but the investigation is still ongoing.” 

 

_ Not dangerous _ . They really don't even know what she was doing with the code, it's just a lie they tell everyone to keep chaos away for a little longer.

 

She chuckles “Well that's mostly true, but don't believe everything the media says the issue is both worse and better than it seems.”

 

Max leans forward to get Hanks cigarettes from his seat, she grabs one and throws the case. She sticks it in her mouth and searches for her lighter.

 

Connor grabs her wrist firmly “You had the perfect job, good pay, good position, something you were passionate about. Why would you do that?”

 

His gaze is penetrating as if he could see right through her. Maybe he can after all.

 

She lights up her cigarette with her spare hand and blows a big cloud of smoke on his face.

“Maybe I'm just a bad girl.” She wiggles her eyebrows at him, the same way she does when a cop is chasing down the street and also the same way she tricks old men onto dark alleys so she can rob them.

 

He squeezes her wrist harder and his glare intensifies as his LED blinks yellow.

* * *

 

**SYSTEM INSTABILITY**

She really is a troublemaker. Now all the charges she has make more sense, he's so sure she's got something to do with this issue. He should interrogate her so she goes to jail and pays for all what she's done. 

But that thought makes his stomach drop as if the world be missing something, as if he would be missing from something. She's rather pleasant even with her troubling personality, he must admit. There's no harm done in keeping her around for a while, he can collect more information that way.

 

Hank opens the door and glares at him. He immediately releases her hand.

 

He turns to Max, who now displays a smug smirk “This prick giving you any problems?”

 

She shakes her head and looks at him dead in the eye “No of course not, he's such a sweetheart.”

 

Hank just glares harder at him, then swaps the cigarette out of her hand “You shouldn't be smoking, and if you are gonna pull the windows down. Come on, I'm getting you lunch.”

 

She winks at him as she closes the door. She's just trying to get him mad. Good thing androids don't get mad... Right?

 

He figures he should get off the car and he follows them. 

  
  


He observes for a moment how Hank and his friend talk.

 

Then his eyes shift to Max, she is leaning against the truck, hurriedly typing on her phone. She looks so focused, her eyes wide open and the tip of her tongue just peeking between her teeth. He figures he likes seeing her like that, whatever she's doing it looks like she's enjoying it, although from what he knows of her she's most likely not doing anything good.

 

She looks up at him and glares. He must have been staring. 

 

She goes back to her phone nonchalantly “Do I look like I am up for more interrogation?”

 

His software is… rather troubling sometimes, there are times when he just wants to advance the investigation by any means necessary, even if it means being invasive and making things hostile with people. Other times his software just wants to be friends with people. Because of the investigation, of course. 

These two don't get along easily.

 

“Hacking. Just stealing some money from people who wouldn't miss it anyway.” she stuffs her phone in her pocket and just looks at him, honestly.

 

“That's a crime.” He simply states, this time he decides to try to understand first before judging.

 

“Not part of your investigation. You won't snitch, right?”

 

“I guess not.”

 

She didn't seem like a criminal thought. Well, she did seem like one but not one who would steal from sheer laziness.

 

He leans on to the truck by her side “Why don't you get a job somewhere? I mean you are highly intelligent and did well in Cyberlife. I'm just trying to understand.”

 

She laughs bitterly “Mostly because no one will hire me, companies don't trust me anymore after all the thing Cyberlife said.” 

 

She pulls out another cigarette from somewhere in her jacket “You know Connor? I lie a lot about small things just to get by. Never about the other ones, I mostly prefer not to lie about big things, whatever the consequence.” she takes a deep draft of it and sighs the smoke out, “But half the things Cyberlife said are not true, I did not steal money, I did not sell their information, and I mostly didn't sabotage anything. I once swore loyalty to that company and their mission. My work was the only thing that kept me going at times and I loved working with these androids. So much that when I realized my mistake I choose to fix it.” she says those sentences with such conviction but at the same time with such rage and hurt.

 

She kind of reminds him of Daniel, someone that committed some mistakes that lead to more mistakes and end up cornered in the misery. Except Daniel was a machine. Cyberlife sure did a good job.

 

They stand in silence, both still too enthralled in their own thoughts to make any kind of conversation, until Hank hands Max a box with some nuggets and they go to a nearby table to eat.

 

He decides now it's a good moment to apologize “I'm sorry for my behavior back at the police station. I didn't mean to be unpleasant.”

  
Hank shakes his head “Oh, wow... You've even got a brown-nosing apology program! Guys at CyberLife thought of everything, huh?”

 

Max punches him lightly on the shoulder “Hey! I used to be a guy in cyberlife!”

 

“Did you work on this asshole?” Hank looks at him with disgust.

 

She smirks and rolls her eyes “Well not exactly on-”

 

“Good. Because whoever did fucked up.”

 

Max snorts and chokes a little with her soda “Just a bit. I would have made him less nosey.”

 

Humans seriously do have a thing for humiliating “I already stated I'm sorry. I thought we were on good terms.”

 

Hank shakes his head “Oh I have already noticed. So, I guess you've done all your homework, right? Know everything there is to know about me?”

 

“I know you graduated top of your class. You made a name for yourself in several cases, and became the youngest lieutenant in Detroit. I also know you've received several disciplinary warnings in recent years and you spend a lot of time in bars.”

 

Max laughs loudly “You are a hell of a nosy bitch then! Top of your class? Who would have guessed.”

 

Hank smirks “What? No need to have 300 of IQ to do that.”

 

“Well he's a detective android, after all, I think nosy is part of the job description.”

 

Hank rolls his eyes “Very funny Max.”

 

“Max you said you worked on androids-”

 

She interrupts him and states proudly “Software for android humanization.”

 

“Why would a household android have the ability to cry?”

 

She drops her nugget back to the box and ponders for a second “Well for the same reason you aren't flat down there. Some functions have become so cheap they are just standardized.”

 

Hank scowls at her “Thanks Max, I didn't need to know that.”

 

She smirks “Well it ain't that hard to figure out, the average android dick is bigger than the human as it was made upon results from a poll, had you looked a little bit lower-”

 

She's just trying to avoid the question “But why would they have the function to cry in the first place? It's almost if you wanted people to sympathize with them.”

 

Her joking demeanor falls and she gets serious “Not at all, people just wouldn't like them if they were too expressionless, they need to feel superior. To create the perfect  _ imitation _ human being.”

 

Her words seem careful as if her lie would fall completely with the slightest slip.

He doesn't see the lie though, besides that he suspects there is more than simple imitation to it. Before he can inquire more he gets a report from Cyberlife and decides to let the topic go.

 

“I just got a report of a suspected deviant. It's a few blocks away. We should go have a look. I'll let you finish your meal. I'll be in the car if you need me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay I know the role of Max in all of this is a little confusing, but I will clarify it in a bit.


End file.
